Help me get an Aadhar

Being a modest middle class Bihari, I never had a privilege of having all the licenses, proofs, and cards with me when I turned 18. It didn’t bother me much till my college. My struggle with “proofs” and “cards” started with my career. To sum up my background, I was born and brought up in Bihar, graduated in Bengal, started my career in AP, now in Maharshtra.

Passport

Honestly, getting the passport was not that tough. It was a two step process of filling the form and bribing a policeman for address verification. Passport conquered with address of my hostel room at Kharagpur!

Bank Account

Thanks to my then employer that they helped me get my PAN card made via an agent. When the time of openig bank accounts came, we had two options – Axis and Citi. In the batch of new joinees, I was the only one who went with Citi. The reason was pretty simple. They asked for minimal documents as opposed to Axis. Citi chose me! Bank account conquered with address of employer’s office, Hyderabad!

Driving License

I was living on rent in Hyderabad and had my rent agreement. I got my driving license by presenting the rent agreement as a proof of my address. Driving License conquered with address of a rented apartment in Hyderabad.

I now have a passport, a bank account, a driving license with three different addresses mentioned on it and at present, I do not live in any of these three places.

At present, I am staying in a rented apartment in Mumbai. Since I do not own a house, I do not have electricity bill, gas bill, other utility bills on my name.

Aadhar

I don’t have an Aadhar card. I had never believed in it and still don’t agree that it should exist and be mandated. Nevertheless, that’s not the point here. Now, I want to get my Aadhar made as if I don’t get it, I will be barred from all the basic ameneties. Everything is getting linked to Aadhar.

The question now is what “proof” do I present to get Aadhar. From the long list of documents accepted by the Government, rental agreement of Mumbai is the only feasible document. I filled the form and it got rejected!

What do I do now? How do I get past the crooked system of “Address proof”? How do I get my Adhar? Help!

What’s the fuss about 26/11?

He is  not sure whether the problem is with him or  with the world. If he tunes into a news channel, he finds people talking about 26/11. He then tunes into another channel and the result is no different. He clicks on the link of  TOI and the result is the same. Dejected, frustrated, he turns towards his most trusted, his “the favorite” music channel. But, to his surprise, instead of  dancing to the rhythm divine his favorite movie star was asking people to call on 26/11.

People have been sleeping the whole year and they didn’t even bother to punish the guilty. Well, he doesn’t claim to be among those who are going to make a difference to this country. Instead he works for a US company. 26/11 is no different a date than 26/01 to him. If his counterpart doesn’t treat him differently on this day, why is the world doing this injustice? Is it wrong on his part to expect the normal behavior from the surrounding? Is it wrong on his part to expect the leaders to talk less and work more?

I know some questions are better left answered but these are not among those. Please don’t compare him with the protagonist of A Wednesday. It is a mere coincidence that today, 25/11/09 is a Wednesday.

About a girl

People say that you need an inspiration to write about something. As a matter of fact, I have not written anything in the past four and a half months. Maybe, I didn’t have the privilege of meeting an inspiration, even accidentally or, maybe, I was too lethargic enough to type even a few words. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I am scribbling right now and you know what, it kind of feels nice. I am not sure whether a lot can happen or not over a cup of coffee but, surely, a lot can happen over a period of four and a half months and it did happen.

All of my friends, including myself, got placed in respected companies, had an amazing ten days trip to Kanpur with my department-mates, made some really precious friends there, one of my friends got calls from three IIMs, I revised F.R.I.E.N.D.S once, started a new series, and watched quite a good number of Tom Hanks’ movies. Just to mention, these are only the positives that have happened and I don’t want to discuss the negatives. I want to be positive with regard to nothing positive happening around me. The previous sentence shows my effort in being positive.

My father used to tell me, “whatever happens happens for the best” and I believed him. I have believed in these words and I want to believe them even today but, I just can’t. I am unable to cajole myself to get clawed in the bushes of this too optimistic bullshit. I am done with this. I can’t take it anymore. But, the question here is that if not this way then which way. Do I have any other option apart from gulping gimlet with schnitzels? This, of course, is the lamest possible solution. I don’t know no solution and am not sure about what am going to do in this regard. But, one thing I am sure of is that I don’t want it this way. It hurts and it hurts badly.

I wish Mr. Robert Frost could come and inspire me to take the road less travelled by. No hard feelings for Mr. Frost but, I see a dead end on this road. Oh Dear Lord, what is wrong with me. Do I lack gumption in me? Do I need to wake up from somnolence? I don’t know. What I know is that there are only one and a half months left at the institute and these forty-five days will pass in a similar fashion as the days have passed since February. What can I say? I guess it was meant to be this way. I guess it was meant to be short and sweet.

A Note

Have you ever wondered why do the sea shores appear romantic, or, why do you stop enjoying your ‘friend circle’, or, why do you stop thinking about anyone but just the one, or, when do you become a new you? I have definitely never wondered about these issues. Anyway, this has got nothing to do with what I am going to scribble tonight.

As we know, rather, as we are made to know, about Bombay, it’s a city that never sleeps. I know a person called Jagmohan, a friend of mine, who has a little different point of view about the city. The city has given him everything yet nothing. He has been working in a company for the past five years. He was recognized as a jolly face amongst the employees of his company JP Estates. He was a likeable creature in his company. But, one attribute that his employees and business partners didn’t like about him was that he never attended the parties organized by the company. In early days of his career, he always managed to come up with an excuse for not being able to attend the parties. But now, no one even bothered to inform him about the celebrations. They had all quite comfortably accepted that it was a fact that Jagmohan doesn’t like to attend parties, without bothering to know the actual reason behind this behavior of his. Who cares! That’s life!

Jagmohan’s weeks were like a ritual. He spent each and every evening of his in the same fashion. No matter how important the task was, no matter whether there was a meeting, he left his office by 7:00 pm. A few people didn’t like this attitude of his but he more-than-compensated for it with his awesome devotion towards work during the working hours. He didn’t go to his bungalow after work; instead he spent his evening near the marine drive. He had passed hours sitting on the rocks by the side of the sea. He had witnessed, sitting there, people make and break relationships. He had listened to the roars of the waves. He had seen the waves eroding the rocks. He had seen the world changing. He had always hoped (actually he wanted to hope) that Bombay was a city of miracles. While returning to his apartment, he always gave a one rupee note, with something scribbled on it, to a beggar. And believe me; he has been doing this for the past five years without failing for even a single day.

He had a lot to share but he didn’t have the one with him. He was a completely different person outside the office. He was silent. He didn’t talk to anyone. He was sad. He loved this very form of himself because these reminded him of a lady with whom he broke up just before coming to this city. He didn’t regret his decision but he wanted to be with her. He didn’t know where she was but he knew just one thing that he loved her more than anyone and he loves her more than anyone.

A few thousand miles away from Bombay, in Bangalore, a lady was collecting cash from his cash counter for the chocolates that she had bought for her two and a half years old son. She saw something scribbled on one of the two one rupee notes.

It read, “I still love you. Love, Jagmohan”.

Seeing breaking news flash on the television, the shopkeeper turned on the volume of his television set.

The news flashed, “Great industrialist Mr. Jagmohan passed away last night at the hospital. He was suffering from blood cancer”.

Tears rolled down the cheeks of the lady. She grabbed her child’s hand and left the shop in melancholy.

C=C

01:20 PM, 21^st June 2007, Afghanistan

In the middle of nowhere, there was a rugged jeep with two Afghanis ruggedly dressed sitting on top of its bonnet, fighting the scorching heat, both quiet as if they didn’t want to disturb the desertion of the surrounding. They saw a flying object approaching them, confirmed as a chopper using binoculars. A few seconds later, the chopper landed near the jeep and alighted three Americans clad in black Armani suits, one of them carrying a suitcase. It was pretty clear that the people who were in the chopper belonged to some big organization. He handed over the suitcase to the Afghanis and there were some words of assurance exchanged. The suitcase had a folder and loads of money. There were some papers attached in the folder which contained some writing resembling the description of some experiment. The cover page of the folder read “Double bond is the answer to everything”.

10:40 AM, 28^th June 2007, India

The Head of the Intelligence Department, Mr. Sam’s cell-phone rang, and he was asked to present himself in twenty minutes at the defense minister’s office without informing anyone about this meeting. The Defense Minister, Mr. Roy, was waiting patiently for Mr. Sam with his two acolytes. Sam reached in time and he gauged that something was wrong as he saw the panicked face of Roy. Roy felt that something big, something terrifying was going to happen in the near future the details of which were unknown. The only information that he could provide Sam with was just the quote, “Double bond is the answer to everything”. He wanted Sam to work secretly as he suspected the involvement of some top officials in the act and allowed him to go to the extreme if and when required.

12:00 AM, 28^th June 2007, India

Sam called a meeting with his top five agents and briefed them about the situation. He ordered them to work day in and day out and work just for a single cause; to find out what was cooking and demolish it ASAP. All six, on whose shoulders’ lay the gargantuan task, had a paper each reading the same quote, “Double bond is the answer to everything”. Two of them were allotted the task to decipher the quote and the others were asked to gather as much information about the act as possible. They named this mission Project Bond.

11:30 PM, 15^th July 2007, Chandni Chowk, Delhi, India

A bomb blast was reported in the slums of Chandni Chowk. The area was evacuated immediately and the police tried hard to control the pandemonium. The area near the dwelling in which the blast took place was barricaded. The three agents and Sam were combing the area in hope of retrieving some link. They found a trace of nitroglycerine and gunpowder which made it clear that there was some explosive-making activity going on and due to an accident the explosives went off. Sam was very skeptic about the situation as there were no casualties in the mishap. Was it a mere a coincidence or was it planned? If it was planned then what was the motive behind such an intentional ‘accident’? As Sam was struggling with these questions, Arjun, one of the three agents, found a cell phone. Sam browsed through the phone and discovered that the last fifteen calls were international; the countries being Pakistan and Iraq. He could see the links but he remained perplexed. If the accident was scripted, how could they be slothful enough to leave their cell phone at the site? Were the incidents pointing towards something? All these questions remained unanswered.

09:00 AM, 17^th July 2007, Intelligence Office, Delhi

Sam asked his agents for the updates. The decoders were ready with the results. They reported that as far as they could figure out, the quote contained the date on which something big had been planned. They decoded “Double bond is the answer to everything” as 24^th July 2007. They convinced the other four members by explaining that the answer to everything is forty-two, and that if they read “bond” as 007 and wrote it twice, then the quote would read as “00700742”. Reading the whole thing from right to left, it could be interpreted as “24007007” or “240707” which meant 24^th July 2007. The decoding was convincing enough and was sufficient to put their asses on fire as they were left with hardly a week.

The other three agents updated Sam that the international calls were made to government offices in Pakistan and Iraq. They also presented some links which pointed towards Pakistan and Iraq. Also, an incident similar to the one at Chandni Chowk was reported in Washington a day back, and Roy had flown there to meet the Defense Minister of America. Sam concluded that Pakistan and Iraq were planning to attack India and America on 24^th July 2007.

01:00 PM, 19^th July 2007, Roy’s Office, Delhi

Sam updated Roy with all the information he had and wanted Roy to consult the PM as some serious and quick action was needed. This news horrified Roy and he fixed a meeting with the PM.

05:30 PM, 20^th July 2007, Washington, American President’s Office

Roy convinced the PM of India and he had an official meeting with America’s president regarding the issue as their case was similar and linked.

01:00 AM, 23^rd July 2007, Iraq

America bombed Iraq with the help of Indian Air Force.

03:00 AM, 23^rd July 2007, Pakistan

India bombed Pakistan with the support of American bombers.

These two incidents shocked the world. They looked at these incidents as if America and India had opened the gate for the next world war.

America and India were successful in convincing most of the countries that it was just an act of self-defense and those who didn’t agree were forced to keep their mouths shut with the power of green paper. After the attack, India took control of Pakistan and so did America of Iraq. They also took over their government and made some amendments in their constitutions. A month after the attack, India and America signed a treaty which would allow India to use a part of Iraq’s oil reserves.

Two good things happened because of this otherwise horrendous incident. First, India managed to reduce the terrorist activities to a significant degree and they were also able to solve the Kashmir problem. Second, the oil problem of India and America was sorted out.

Two years later

For the past two years, experts and analysts from all over the world were trying to read and explore the incident of 23^rd July 2007 and it resulted in the disclosure that the famous Chandni Chowk and Washington incidents were scripted by the Indian and American governments themselves. The phone at the site of the blast at Chandni Chowk was intentionally left there and so were the other links, so that Pakistan and Iraq could be blamed for planning an act of potential threat to the security of India and America. India and America planned this together to make their life easier and smoother.

But who cares now! It’s all done and forgotten and the world has accepted whatever was cooked for it to eat.

The Power of You

Three continuous years of ass-licking and that too for a so called “high paying job”. C’mon man! Grow up!

The companies that visit our campus for recruitment present before us job profiles that at first look portray a rosy picture before us. But, give your rusty brains a bit of trouble and look for the growth that you would follow under normal circumstances. Believe me it will not lead to where you deserve to be or where you want to be in the next ten years of your career. A popular adage states that you should not stop dreaming because if you don’t dream how will you accomplish it! There are actually quite a good number of people in our institute itself who have the potential to change the way we look at the world today and the way we work in the world today.

Let’s talk in mathematical terms because that’s what we IITians are adept at. In a batch of 700 people remove the MSc. guys, approx. 100, followed by the removal of dual degree people, approx. 250, which leads us to a total of approximately 350 eligible candidates for placements. Now, this figures accrues to 500 if we take into account 150 people from the dual degree senior batch. Even if I get pessimistic about the financial status of the families of the pupils studying here, the number of guys who are in a dire necessity to take up a job will not overshoot the figure of 200. Now, further remove 100 cold-blooded guys who want to spend their lives by doing 9-6, grooming their children, watching movies with their better halves, and saving enough money so they could spend their old days sipping tea and reading newspaper on an easy-chair. So, this leads us to a potential 200 pupils capable of taking risks and changing their future for the better.

Just to remind all those among you who have given their bit to come to this prestigious institute by fair means (I am a bit doubtful about the existence of the unfair means but still…) that they are capable of doing anything (and when I say anything, I mean anything) if they are determined to. Above all this institute of ours provides us the freedom to sit for placements even after two years of graduation in case a person decides to start his own company just after his or her graduation. I think you are intelligent enough to gauge that two years of experiment would make you clear about the future of your company and if you are, let me tell you that a good business attains its break-even in 12 to 18 months.

If you would allow me to use the calculations that I did earlier I would like state that in ideal case there should be at least 30 to 40 companies rolling out every year on average taking into account that a start up would comprise of five people on an average. But the gloomy present scenario is that there are hardly four or five groups going for their start-ups.

What my point is that if we claim ourselves to be the best in the country(I don’t think that you would doubt it) then if we won’t take the risk then who would. If you are still not convinced, let me state another fact that till today a majority of the start-ups by us have been successful. How could you work for others and allow him to take all the credits? If he likes your work then you should be smart enough to note that you have the acumen and agility to provide employment to thousands or even millions. All you have to do is to have faith in yourself and I don’t think that this is a cumbersome task for an intelligent person like you. This faith is going to take you miles in your life and would allow you to smell satisfaction and success. And I guess there is nothing as sweet as the aroma of success. If you want to fly high, dare to dream, dare to be you!

It’s Toxic

Now this is going to be interesting. I have no clue why on earth have I opened a blank word file. I don’t even have a topic in my mind but you know what…it doesn’t matter because now I have her in my life…

Look that’s the power of love. Now, I have a topic and just a suggestion- forget everything, give your grey cells a bit of rest and feel the magic!

Cigarette is toxic and so is love. Cigarette is addictive and so is love. You can’t leave smoking once you are into it and same is with love. No more similes because its time for some facts. Believe me or not but it was a Cigarette which played a major role in our bonding.

As you all know that I work in a multinational consultancy firm, the pressure cooker work environment there forced me to start smoking. You must be thinking that I am a jerk who needed drugs to survive the pressure at work and this calls for another fact: 70% of people working in a consultancy firm start smoking after joining the firm. I contributed a bit to this figure. Earlier people were allowed to smoke even at their desk but due to some idiotic government rules it’s changed now. One puff and everything starts looking pure and clear. Every logic, every step, every arguments fall at your feet. Ohh…why am I discussing the power of cigarette? It’s not my fault. I can’t help it. It’s so bloody addictive.

That day was no different and neither was my mood. Standing in front of the office’s building, staring in the zero as if searching for Nirvana, I was smoking and as usual looking for a magic wand which would help me decipher the code.

“Do you have a lighter?”, echoed into my ears.

I would have rubbed the stones to lighten her cigarette but thank God that wasn’t required. She was tall, hair tied together to form a bun at the top back of the head with side locks left free to dangle, clad in perfect business attire, or in short an epitome of class. She was in her late 30’s or early 40’s. A woman with attitude and elegance!

“Yeah sure!” was an obvious reply.

Then began the smokers’ talk. During the conversation we both discovered that we belonged to the biggest rival firms. She was working for that firm only with whom we (the firm which I belonged to) were fighting for an acquisition. I saluted at her every remark and she laughed out loud at my sarcastic comments. The span of that conversation was about the span of our cigarettes. Anyway, we had a great chat, numbers were exchanged and I asked her out for a dinner in that very short span of two and a half minutes. About the dinner she said that she would try. I expected that. Such a cliché! We snuffed out the butts and it was time to place our butts on the working seat.

I had my typical bachelor group at work with whom I used to hang out after the office hours. The day was not different. We had a plan for a newly opened Indian pub and since it was Friday we couldn’t wait longer to rock the world. Hardly had we left our building, my cell phone vibrated. It took me by surprise. Yeah you guessed it right this time. It was a call from ‘the smoking lady’ I had met the other day. She wanted to go out for a dinner with me. “I am privileged!” was the reply. I wished my colleagues adios and took the fuming lady out to a Thai Restaurant.

The dinner was awesome and so was she. We had similar line of thought and we almost agreed on every point. I had always dreamt of such a lady…a lady with common sense and who knew when to laugh and when to smile and last but not the least she looked at life in the same way as I did. We just clicked. I was forced to believe that everything is planned by God and nothing happens by chance. After the dinner we had a long walk till we reached her apartment.

“I had a great time today”, she whispered while hugging.

“So had I”, was the murmur that reached her ears playing with her side locks.

After the word “Good Night” was exchanged she invited me up to her apartment.

…to be continued and I am open to your suggestions.

Alert!

Thanks for guessing it wrong!

This is a murder mystery and for those who want to know the murderer straight away, read the very last line.

This post has got nothing to do with the happenings around me presently. This post is yet again dedicated to my friends and of course me. If you don’t know me well enough, I hereby provide you with an auspicious opportunity to know how dangerous my friendship could be for you.

Yeah! You better be careful. Mind you, it’s not a suggestion, it’s a warning!

I would like to highlight a few incidents in which the main protagonist was obviously me and my friends were on the receiving end.

1) It was a summer night at Kharagpur and since it was vacation time there were only few (6 for those who like figures) of us and four out of six were busy partying at their respective departments. I was supposed to have dinner with my sixth friend (let’s call him Sas for reference) who went to one of the restaurants in our campus to meet his girlfriend who had arrived on that very night for some summer course in our college. Sas called me at the dinner time and asked me to wait at GolC (Golchakkar for the non-kgpians) and added further that it would take him some time to reach that place because he was with his girlfriend and a friend and he had just one bicycle and thus walking was the only option. Alert! Here comes Anurag! Without any wrong intention I suggested him that I would come down to the place where they were at that time and I could give a lift to the other friend and Sas to his girlfriend. There was a silence for few seconds and after it broke the reply was in negative. I insisted but it was all in vain. So, I had no other choice but to wait for them at the GolC. Few video games later, I spotted them approaching towards me and the moment my eyes saw them I realized the reason for the reply. Girlfriend’s friend was her girlfriend (Oh! Don’t take it that way, you dirty mind!)!

2) Let us now talk about the spring time of the same year. This time it was one of my department mates (you can call him Tait) on the receiving end. SN Hall (Girl’s hostel) Day was in a two or three days from that day and my dear friend was really excited about that (and so were most of the boys) because it is this day only when boys are allowed to go to girls’ room. In a break between two periods, we two and some others were sipping Shiva ki chai. While we were talking some crap a girl from our department came near us and asked what we were talking about. Alert! Here comes Anurag! I said to her, “Tait is complaining that no girl has invited him to your Hall Day”. She blushed and left. It couldn’t have gone worse. She didn’t invite him even after what I said to her. Because of this incident Tait didn’t go to the Hall Day he was so excited about.

3) Now, this incident is my favorite because on the receiving end were almost all my friends including me. Coincidently, this event took place one day before Hall Day only but this time it was ours (NH Day) Hall Day and a year after the above-mentioned incidents. We somehow discovered that my neighbor (let’s call him Kim) was not wearing his undergarment and we demanded him to drop his trouser. Of course he didn’t. How unsporting! We warned him twice and more but he was adamant. It was time for some action. Alert! Here comes Anurag! I wrote in front of his room, on the wall, “Kim loves Patricia”. It was the turn of my other neighbor. I wrote in front of his (Tank would be a good name for him) room, “Tank loves Ana”. Well, no credit for guessing what happened next. They did the same thing with me but I don’t remember the girl’s name they associated me with. After a few minutes, in front of everyone’s room in our wing was written “He loves Her” and I wrote even for those also who were not even committed but I somehow managed to find a girl for everyone. Our wing when viewed from the far end looked like a joint marriage certificate with blood red color splashed all over. Guess what happened the very next day, the Hall Day on which girls were expected to come to our rooms, Ana didn’t come for whom Kim had decorated his room (of course he told her not to come). But, late at that night we somehow erased the writings and then only did she come. For those who don’t know Tank and Ana were good friends at that time and they are committed to each other now.

I want to detail more such incidents but I think it’s getting quite long, so may be in future posts. Allow me to stop here. You are free to be my friend and believe me I am not that bad.

…and yes for the murder mystery, I am the killer!

Crackled

Ladies and gentlemen …o forget it!

It is a story of two people and I would like to take a bit of time in describing both of them and the chemistry between them. I don’t exactly remember what happened when they met for the first time but I am dead sure that there were no lightning, no tornadoes, no earthquakes and not even Gulmohar leaves mesmerized the environment. It would be easier for me to describe them together as they have lots of things in common.

They share a same discipline of study; they have a same fetish for Green Lays; they share a same point of view regarding me (and this I am not going to reveal here); they both are equally infamous in their respective places of living but both of them are my favorite; and many more. As far as their chemistry is concerned, they utter a little word to convey anything and there have been quite a numerous occasions where any joke cracked by one is understood by the other only, in public.

A day of hard work and still a lot to be done, miles to cover, literally. Miles covered but mission unaccomplished. Sust n frust, irritated by loud horns, covering every inch in disgust, both were bicycling down the busy road towards their institute. I observed a sudden change in his friend’s (You’s) expression and momentum which zeroed in no time as if something struck You’s mind. As rightly guessed by I, You wanted to go to the shop at whose doorstep You’s brakes were clutched. Against the will, as I can’t say no to You, I entered the shop with You and they wandered in the shop for a moment and finally You bought something (material is immaterial). But, something happened in the shop and happened for the good that further rose I’s image in You’s heart.

You peered into a transparent case of rich, both in value and integrands, chocolates and said lightly to I, “These chocolates are meant for gifts only and no one has ever given to me” followed by an innocent smile. What You said was definitely a truth but it was not said with any intention or expectation or even a tinge of seriousness. I didn’t have any option but to respond with a short and sweet smile which what most of us would have done being in that situation.

It was said and forgotten by You.

The next day they met to discuss some academic matters and they do it quite often. During their discussion I said, “I have got something for you.” You taken by surprise, replied with a sign of exclamation on the face, ”O Wow! May I have a look at it!” I took something out of a bag which pumped more blood to the heart of You. It was a chocolate on whose wrapper “Crackle” was written in style. I said, “All for you.” It was the best gift You had ever got. You had no words to thank I and said, “I can’t forget this day in my entire life. It’s priceless!”

Thanks Chinmaya (I) for making me (You) feel so special!

Take on Talking

“Say…What to say!”

“Ismein kaun sa chapter aa raha hai ye usko bata dena.”

“Yes, I know! Obama won the election.”

 The above three statements by three different people, all influencing my life presently, throws enough light on the art of talking. Let’s explore their thought process and try to extract the secret of impressive talking.

The very primary condition that I could infer is that never be clear in your mind. Your brain and mouth should coordinate in exactly same fashion as if inzy and dada are on the crease at the same time. Try to give contradictory statements in a single sentence. Whenever you feel uncomfortable doing so, imagine yourself playing turncoat. This will enhance your ability to baffle the listeners. This trick comes in handy at situations where you have started a sentence but don’t know how to end it. Just end the sentence by rowing the boat in the opposite direction enjoying every bit of cool wind in your hair. This very gesture will leave the listeners in no man’s land and ‘Ripley’s Believe it or not’ but the fact is that people like it this way. At this point you have already won half the battle.

The other popular style followed by many is the intense use of pronouns in their conversation. Do not dare to use even a single noun in your sentence because this would reflect that you are crystal clear in your mind which is undesirable. Even the mouthwatering kababs look dull without the topping. So, act confident and obvious after finishing your sentence. The prime benefit of such an act is that you make the listener feel miserable about himself that he could not trace your line of thought. He would have no idea what on earth you want to convey and what the hell he is supposed to do. Once again mission accomplished! They are puzzled! One subsidiary benefit of using pronoun is that they are fewer in number and hence easy to remember. Just imagine remembering stupid names of colleagues, loved ones and even yours!

Now, borrow a mixer from your mom (Maharaja is preferred) and blend the above stated styles of conversation in apposite proportion. Get ready to be the king of the conversation. You are just one final leap behind the finishing line. This is how you are going to do it.

The last but the most precious technique used is to have an opinion about any damn topic under discussion. You can’t afford to say that you don’t know. The trick here is that even they don’t know the answer because had they known the answer they wouldn’t have asked the question. So just speak out whatever comes to your mind first. You must have been worrying about the consequences when they would come to know the reality. Don’t worry! Be happy! At this situation the first two techniques come into rescue. When you are questioned about misleading them just baffle them using the first two techniques and emerge from the conversation victoriously.

 I guess I have thrown enough light and you are allowed to use goggles if you are bedazzled. Wishing you luck in all your conversations that you are going to encounter in your life. May you rule one and all of them! Ashirwaad!